With sadness and yet joy, I recently learned of the passing of Father Paschal Cheline, beloved monk and mentor to so many people over his decades of monastic life. Sadness, knowing that his loss is a great one; joy, knowing that he can finally rest from his labors, and through the mercy of God, enter the Father’s house.

When I first entered Mount Angel Seminary, I was filled with a combination of joy, trepidation, and just a general feeling of “oh my gosh, I’m actually here!” As a fresh bright-eyed seminarian of 24 years old, I had some life experience under my belt, but not a lot. Even now, as I approach my 30^th birthday, I feel that there is so much more I need to learn, and so many areas in which I need to grow. Back then, and even now, I wondered where and how this growth would occur. How would God work in my life? Then I met a certain monk who loved literature and classical music, who loved liturgy, art, the Church, seminarians and students, and loved living life. Above all, he loved God; he loved Jesus Christ.

Fr. Paschal Cheline – Courtesy of Mount Angel Abbey (I hope they don’t mind)

Little did I realize the impact that Fr. Paschal Cheline would have on my life. My first encounter with him occurred at the Mount Angel Seminary orientation: my grandfather had just dropped me off and turned back toward Sacramento, my room was a complete disaster from unpacking, although to be fair it’s always a complete disaster, and I found myself praying for guidance from the Holy Spirit during this new phase of my life; much of that guidance would come from Fr. Paschal. Many of my friends who attend or have attended Mount Angel will recall from their own orientations “the talk”, where Fr. Paschal laid forth some of the, shall we say…finer…details of human formation and community life in a humorous yet straightforward manner. From there, Fr. Paschal’s words of wisdom and support would continue to guide me throughout my time at Mount Angel and beyond.

Fr. Paschal helped to reawaken within me many things which I had lost over the years, due to my own life choices or other distractions that I allowed to get in the way. His constant encouragement to read fiction novels, along with Mount Angel’s wonderful literature program, pushed me to re-discover my love for the written word, both in reading and writing. Since that first year, I have not had any time in which I was not reading a novel, even if it took a while to get through said novel due to school work, ministry, and even now lesson planning. Fr. Paschal also immersed me back into classical music, some new artists and some old favorites. I remember clearly one Saturday afternoon when I was worrying about writing a paper and Fr. Paschal told me to “put on some headphones, pour a nice glass of wine and enjoy Beethoven’s Missa Solemnis.” The man had a way of knowing exactly what was needed to encourage or enliven one of his charges.

All of this, however, is secondary to how Fr. Paschal helped to nurture my love of liturgy and the Faith. From private conversations to even his “Liturgical Tidbits” before Evening Prayer on Tuesdays, the Holy Spirit working through Fr. Paschal brought me to a love of the Church and Jesus Christ that I had never imagined. When I first met him, I was still a relatively new Catholic with so much to learn. He recognized my love of learning, and pushed me to a depth of study and prayer I thought not possible. Even now, as I approach the 10^th anniversary of my baptism, and with still so much to learn with new discoveries occurring all the time, I often return to Fr. Paschal’s words and encouragement.

I recall with fondness one of our last meetings together, during which he had spoke to me words that I know he has spoken to many other guys, but they were no less relevant: it was towards the end the spring semester in 2014 and I was walking through Anselm Hall, the college dormitory, to go check my mail. By this point in time, I had been struggling with my discernment, and did not know what would come next. As I proceeded past his office, I found Fr. Paschal walking, which was rare at this point in time, down to the staff lounge to have lunch. I asked if I could help him with anything, and he invited me to share lunch with him, some delicious pasta that a friend had made for him that he wanted to finish before it went bad. I suppose recognizing the Hobbit that I am, perhaps he knew that if he offered, I could help him in the task! So we enjoyed each other’s company for about an hour over that pasta, and talked about many subjects, a true blessing because even at this time he was a busy man and often had his attention pulled in many different directions by numerous tasks and people.

Where was I? Ah yes, his words of wisdom, just a few of many of the years! He did not know about my struggles, but I think he sensed what was going on, and he told me this, which he has related to many men over the years: “Young man, it’s O.K. You can pull to the side of the road for a while and rest if you need to, but don’t forget to get back on the road! Keep the faith! Move forward, and don’t stop living!” These words continue to resonate with me today, and I hope they resonate with everyone reading these words now: no matter what the difficulties, know that the Lord is in control of it all, and keep moving forward. You won’t go wrong relying on Him!

I am, of course, no longer at Mount Angel, but the passing of Fr. Paschal I know is a huge loss for that small community up there in the beautiful Willamette Valley, as well as for the thousands of people he has directly touched, and even the hundreds of thousands whom he has indirectly impacted. I still wonder about what the Lord has in store for my life, but through the encouragement of Fr. Paschal Cheline, a holy priest, a passionate teacher, a dedicated mentor, and an understanding friend, I know that through it all, the Lord’s hand is there. While I am sure he would remind us that he was only one man who desired to follow the Lord in obedience, I think we can all learn from his example: look at the impact our lives can have if we but follow the Lord, no matter where He leads, just as Fr. Paschal endeavored to do throughout his many fruitful years!

As I sit here listening to the last movement in the “Agnus Dei” of Beethoven’s Missa Solemnis, even with the accompanying glass of wine almost finished, although I admittedly do not know if it is good wine since I am not a big wine connoisseur, I am reflecting on the time you gave to all of us, and your service to so many men discerning God’s will in their lives. I will be forever in your debt, Fr. Paschal; thank you for your years of dedicated service to the Church, to Mount Angel, and to the many students who crossed your path. May we continue to remember you in our prayers, and through God’s mercy, may you enter the heavenly paradise, with a special corner set aside to finally finish all those novels you never got around to reading.

Réquiem ætérnam dona ei Dómine; et lux perpétua lúceat ei. Requiéscat in pace. Amen.

Pax,

Dean

This summer I am traveling around my diocese giving talks regarding vocational discernment. Specifically, we are inviting men to consider a vocation to the priesthood as part of an initiative called the “Fiat Missions” through our Office of Vocations. At the parish we are speaking at this week, we were asked by the priest to reflect specifically on the Holy Trinity and the meaning of “vocation” since tomorrow is the Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity. I thought that I would share my reflection here, although I have made a couple of small edits to fit the format of the blog. You can also visit our diocesan vocations blog here, where I am my fellow seminarians write about various experiences throughout our journey and how the Lord works in our lives.

Fiat Mission Reflection – 15 June 2014 – Trinity Sunday

Before I was Catholic, I lived a very worldly lifestyle. I was in college at the time of my conversion and I had a great job working in a local school district. I had a girlfriend, and my spiritual path aligned with the New Age Movement. For all intents and purposes, by worldly standards, I was a young person who was successful, on his way up in the world. I loved everything about my life. I loved me. But something was missing. Eventually, I discovered an emptiness, a sort of lacking in my life.

In today’s Gospel, and as we celebrate the Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity, I am drawn to consider, with everyone here, exactly what was missing in my life, in our lives, and perhaps what continues to be missing in some degree in so many other lives: true love. In the words of St. John today, we hear that “God so loved the world, he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.” So many of us continue to miss this love of God, the love that the Father sends in the person of His Son. Before my conversion, I only loved myself; it was in no way a sacrificial love. What we see in today’s readings, however, is that the creator of the universe gave Himself, gave His son, for us. We continue to see that love, that self-gift, in the Holy Spirit. The saving mercy that we find in Christ continues to guide us all in the person of the Spirit here and now. In turn, we are called to live out the love of the Holy Trinity in our own lives.

Today, on Trinity Sunday, as complicated as the reality of the Trinity may seem, we need to focus on only one thing to begin grasping this beautiful doctrine that the Church presents us: love. In the Trinity, we see the love of the Father in creation, the sacrificial love and mercy of the Son, and the continued guidance of the Church through the love of the Holy Spirit. This love is constantly shared among all three persons of the Trinity, who continually give themselves to each other.

But! As we can see, this love is not some self-contained thing that remains in God alone! He gives us that love. But how do we respond? Do we respond by loving ourselves and the world alone, just as I was so intent on doing during my early college years? No, we must give that love back to Him, by loving Him with everything we can. So here, brothers and sisters, is where I get ready to challenge you: do you love Him? Do you love Him by not only coming to Church on Sunday and other days, but by everything you say and do throughout your lives? When those times come when that love does fall short, and this happens to all of us, do you return to His love in the sacrament of confession? Most of all, do you seek how to fully live a life of love, how to fully glorify Him in everything? St. Therese of Lisieux, the Little Flower, writes,

I know of no other means to reach perfection than by love. To love: how perfectly our hearts are made for this! Sometimes I look for another word to use, but, in this land of exile, no other word expresses so well the vibrations of our soul. Hence we must keep to that one word: love.

So the challenge is this, particularly for young people: just as God gave everything in His son, so too must we give everything we can back to Him, no matter how many times we may stumble. Ask God who He created you to be. Your vocation, whether you are called to married life, single life, religious life, or the priesthood, should be a vocation of love. Particularly for those young men considering priesthood, spend some time with the Lord, especially in the sacraments and through prayer in His presence before the tabernacle. I invite you to speak to a priest or seminarian about their vocation stories and what formation for the priesthood is like. Just like every other vocation, the priesthood is a vocation that should remain centered on love, on Jesus Christ. The love that we find in the Trinity, that sacrificial and self-giving love, is present in the life of the priest. How is God calling you to live a life of love? I don’t know, but I invite you to take the first step in finding out, in discovering how God beckons you to love Him and all His people.

Please pray for me, and know that we all continue praying for you.

“God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.

He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work.

I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments.

Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.” ― John Henry Newman

As those close to me will attest, my vocational journey has not been without twists and turns. Just as anyone who discerns their God-given vocation, there have been moments of great peace and consolation about my future path, while at other times I have doubted everything. Modern wisdom would tell me that I should do this or that because I can be happy or do some sort of good in some particular place. Modern wisdom would also tell me that all of it is up to me, and that I can do what I want, because it is, after all, my life.

But for those that truly try to follow Him, and live our lives according to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we know that everything is not always about us. In fact, anything is rarely about you or me. In the end, it all leads back to Him.

So if finding one’s vocation is not simply about going where one feels most “happy”, then what is it? First, I think we need to realize that in the contemporary sense, happiness is often just a fleeting feeling or surge of emotion. In reality, true happiness, true joy, the eudaemonia of Aristotle perhaps (actually, much much more), resides in something outside oneself: to find his or her vocation, a person must search for where God is calling him or her to serve both Him and their fellow human being. But here’s the best part of it all: even if we don’t realize it at first, seeking one’s vocation in this manner will provide more happiness and contentment than one could possibly imagine, much more than simply seeking that path in life where they think they will do the most good or experience the greatest benefit (although discernment still contains an aspect of those things)!

Sometimes the path ahead is hidden from us. That’s O.K.; there is a purpose in that as well. When the path is hidden, we are still called to seek where we are to serve in the little matters of life, where we are called to give glory to Him in our daily actions. The kind ear lent to a co-worker, the helping hand at the after-school function, assisting a homeless person in finding a meal, or spending some time in prayer and conversation with Him: all of these are aspects of seeking His will, and in the end will serve as sign-posts for the larger direction that we are called to take.

The path will not be easy. There will be twists. There will be roadblocks. There will be naysayers. We may lose friends, or feel desolate. As long as we remember to trust Him, and remember always that “He knows what He is about”, we will come to the unremitting peace and contentment of finding Him in our lives.

Pax et bonum.